Of the seven virtues, (prudence, temperance, charity, diligence, patience, kindness, and humility),patience is the one I struggle with the most (or at least right now anyway). And maybe that's so because I am surrounded by impatient people. Every day requires a lot of time management, and it seems that I can't get what I need done on time because I am so focused on the finish line that I don't get a chance to survey the journey. I am supposed to be, quick, quick and on my toes! They tell me to jump and I ask through how many hoops? Music has been weighing in my head like a boulder, and it's crashing the walls of my brain. I have much regret that I didn't start learning how to play the guitar and the piano at a younger age. So now when I go to play, I get frustrated after about twenty minutes because my fingers hurt, or pushing the bar chords down or hitting the keys makes the instrument sound horrible. I want to be great at this, now, but I lack the patience for discipline. I am at a stalemate with my music, and it isn't helping that Peter and I are hitting the pause button on our music writing stereo. Furthermore, I have this wonderful gift of song, to sing and to write, so I feel as though it is my DUTY to be a musician-- as though I am not just disappointing myself, but God, my family, my friends, random people, whoever... it's a lot to carry on my shoulders.
Now, you say! NOW! GET IT DONE NOW! Fine. But give me some time, brain, give me some time. Let those moments of frustration turn into songs of solitude. Take some time to really reflect on what you HAVE accomplished, and the rest will come... right? Please say yes.
