Bitter Paradox - What an Appropriate Music Project Title

It's been a little time since I last used my blog to share what is happening in my music/art world.  So here's the quick and dirty version of what's happening in Bee'z life.

I am no longer the lead vocalist of Drastic Fall (aka drastic fail).  Unfortunately, there was a band member that refused to act professional enough, or have enough talent to allow the transformation of some junkie garage band turn into a real experimental metal band.  It's a shame, but to be honest, I didn't want to have to scream...  although, I was getting pretty good at it.  Regardless, I ended up on top for several reasons, one of them being, I am now dating the former bass player of Drastic Fall, Danny Day, who quit the band when he found out the other two members were tossing me to the curb.  I suppose I am a little bitter, but more so annoyed that I wasn't given the professional courtesy that I felt I deserved.  A "Thank you, Bee, for all of your hard work" would have been appreciated.  But, alls well that ends well, right?  Danny and I are really happy together, and we no longer have to hide our relationship from anyone.

Now, onto Bitter Paradox.  Since Peter and I have gotten back on track with writing and performing, we have written two new great songs, "Run From What You Fear" and "Acoustic Metal".  I also plan on using some lyrics that I wrote a while ago for a new riff he sent me... it's about Eve, which was also my costume for this year's Halloween.  ANYWAY, you can check Bitter Paradox out on REVERB NATION now.  We are also on FACEBOOK.  Stay tuned for some future awesomeness, as Peter and I plan on recording our very own EP, as well as working with some musicians to add more instrumentals to our recordings and possibly our live performances.  I recently purchased a PA system that I am very proud to own, and I would like to start using it sooner than later, but the album MUST come first in order to build a greater fan base and to establish revenue for the project!

Oh, one final note, I quit my job as Curatorial Assistant at the Leepa-Rattner Museum of Art... However, I am still a member and actually performed there a couple weeks ago for the "So You Wanna be an Artist" Night.  I am back full time working for my parents at their storage facility.  I am also pursing my business, Management & Memories more... unless I make it big with music, I hope to get more clients than I already have (which is one at the moment).  But, a hefty job, none-the-less!

Drastic Fall in July

Since the end of May, I have been working my vocals with a group of dudes who are part of the heavy metal band, Drastic Fall.  I've been studying Melissa Cross' Zen of Screaming DVDs and practicing my vocal warm-ups before every practice.  In a little over a month now, I have a few techniques down and I continue to work on screaming that doesn't penetrate my throat too much.  Along with screaming, I sing some opera, play the harmonica, and sing my heart out as an alto and soprano.  Pretty soon we will be adding some vocal EFX from the vx400, especially for songs like "Freakshow," and "Conundrum."

What is most exciting is we have two shows coming up this month!  One is at Gasoline Alley on the 16th of July and the other at State Theatre, July 31st.  I can honestly say that I am so glad that one of the people I was jamming with in the past flaked on me so I was determined enough to find a band that is ready to jam.  (And no, Peter, I am not referring to you; Bitter Paradox lives on!)

"Bitter Paradox opened Pandora's Box"

It's finally here!  "Blame the Devil" has been recorded (rough style) and is almost studio ready (once I memorize the lyrics...)  This five and half minute song is "intense," as Peter describes it.  It is a recollection of certain events in my life in difference places.  The story isn't chronological, but there is something deeper behind it all.  Every verse I mention a bed, alluding to the fact that lust could possibly be the worst of the seven deadly sins... or is it?

"Bitter Paradox
Opened Pandora's Box
Out comes the sound
A bed just right for Goldie Lox...
....or something!"

My favorite part of this song is the ending...

"You just might...
Realize...
That I'm the devil
In disguise..."

The only way to kill these giant grasshoppers?

You gotta hit 'em with a 2x4, says experts!

This thing was outside of my apartment complex, stuck inside the fire extinguisher case.  Talk about frightening!  I didn't kill it, but I definitely had my mace handy if he decided to freak out and jump at me!

This is what it looks like...

when Bitter Paradox is recording a video of themselves playing, and Bee decides to come in half a measure too early:

Courage

I have it.  Let me be.

Patience

Of the seven virtues, (prudence, temperance, charity, diligence, patience, kindness, and humility),patience is the one I struggle with the most (or at least right now anyway).  And maybe that's so because I am surrounded by impatient people.  Every day requires a lot of time management, and it seems that I can't get what I need done on time because I am so focused on the finish line that I don't get a chance to survey the journey.  I am supposed to be, quick, quick and on my toes!  They tell me to jump and I ask through how many hoops?  

Music has been weighing in my head like a boulder, and it's crashing the walls of my brain.  I have much regret that I didn't start learning how to play the guitar and the piano at a younger age.  So now when I go to play, I get frustrated after about twenty minutes because my fingers hurt, or pushing the bar chords down or hitting the keys makes the instrument sound horrible.  I want to be great at this, now, but I lack the patience for discipline.  I am at a stalemate with my music, and it isn't helping that Peter and I are hitting the pause button on our music writing stereo.  Furthermore, I have this wonderful gift of song, to sing and to write, so I feel as though it is my DUTY to be a musician-- as though I am not just disappointing myself, but God, my family, my friends, random people, whoever... it's a lot to carry on my shoulders. 

Now, you say!  NOW!  GET IT DONE NOW!  Fine.  But give me some time, brain, give me some time.  Let those moments of frustration turn into songs of solitude.  Take some time to really reflect on what you HAVE accomplished, and the rest will come... right?  Please say yes.