I feel as though I have been lacking wisdom... which is odd, considering I am getting older... shouldn't I feel wiser? Divine Sophia, why aren't you blessing me with your presence? Maybe I have turned my back on the mystical and I am focusing too much on the concrete... I feel empty at Church and no matter how hard I workout at the gym, I never feel like it's good enough... that no matter how much I push myself at work, I never get anything done. Is it insatiability? I can't do enough music... music doesn't come around often anymore... I feel as though I am in a transition period, and I am considering switching careers... I feel like a deadbeat, and I have many, many regrets right now. Oh wisdom, find me soon... or let me find you in the heart of my mind. Please.
I think sometimes ... we all feel the way you feel. I mean, god, sometimes I can't help but wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life. 29 and still traveling the world like i own the place.
ReplyDeleteI always said though, there's no right or wrong things in life -- we have to make the choices and accept them. There's no cookie cutter recipe and expectations that it's going to this fairy tale story is just a setup for disappointment. We have to grasp the opportunities that present us when they do -- if we choose to watch them go by, then that is a choice, doesn't mean it is a wrong choice.
Sometimes when things don't go my way I too get down on my myself, and the motivation to try something else is heavy, especially on the heart. But never give up who you are -- this is like you say a "period" you are going through. Things will eventually fall into place for you as they have for the millions of others who have felt like you do today.
Keep working out, keep smiling. The day is always darkest before dawn.
Barb,
ReplyDeleteYou need to relax quite a bit. You are pretty restless I'm sure, but we've talked about the reasons why. I think you need to calm down, and focus. You need to pray for focus. It won't be easy of course. It will take time. Through God, though, you will gain peace.
Think of the serenity prayer:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
And dude, you are kicking butt in the gym, and you know it. Keep up the good work and focus!
Love ya.
Thank you both for your words of wisdom!
ReplyDelete